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4 Jan
A Story of God’s Bounty to Man

There came a time (so to speak) when the Lord God perceived that the plan He’d laid out for us was a mite severe. 

We were responding to His call well enough, but the forces He’d arrayed to test our mettle overtaxed our stress deflectors. We were languishing in bafflement, chagrin and profound exhaustion both physical and spiritual. 

Taking notice of our plight, God put on His thinking cloud. I was off about six generations right there in the outskirts of Babylon, and the consequences have mushroomed algebraically instead of only growing arithmetically as I had intended, He concluded. 

But looking at the big picture, there’s not a lot that I can do about it now without unraveling 687 million years of evolution, and that’s out of the question. 

It was out of the question because the upshot would have been a finer model of Man than the one (you and me) God had actually created, and the Lord found that He had grown tenderhearted regarding our multitude of follies and frailties. 

He rather enjoyed this new unGodly aspect of Himself, and He decided to retain it, which entailed retaining us as we had theretofore developed.

I just wouldn’t be happy with a batch of charmless little automatons, fishlike monkeys, or a new species of sloth.  It’s Man’s vulnerability and stupidity that make him so endearing. 

Therefore if I’m not going to retrovert them, I’ll have to compensate them by providing something to relieve their long-suffering and travail.  Something good.  But not something overly pleasant for that will just become another temptation, and isn’t that the poor buggers’ problem now? It has to be something that will illumine for my frisky little pups the difference between pleasure and contentment.  And something that is modest—no, actually humble—in its appearance to instruct them not to be deceived by surfaces, while on the positive side letting them know that magnificent beauty may arise from nondescript and paltry origins. 

I’ll not send them manna itself, but rather manna in effect, manna in principle, ur-manna—the eternally nourishing foodstuff—so that they’ll refrain from idolizing it falsely as they are wont so often to do. And that is how God, who unlike His human progeny always learns from His errors, bestowed upon our unworthy though authentically needy selves the epochal celestial boon that the wisest among us acknowledge as the human race’s own proprietary manna because it restores our spirits as it replenishes our bodies to a degree of efficacy that nothing else on earth can even come close to approximating. 

I’m giving them something to make them feel as good and sweet and whole as they have made me feel, sighed Jehovah, relaxing from His extracurricular labor.  Which the Good Book says is the way in which God came to give us the POTATO

Written exclusively for CONSERVATIVES SPEAK OUT BLOG: by  Don Thompson

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